Sacred Harvest Fest 2007 - A solitary and her family goes camping.

By: Babs Sicard

We arrived in the dark Sunday evening. I believe it was around 9 pm. We were the last to be allowed in for the night so I do not recommend arriving so late. You will sleep in the parking lot if you get there after 9. We ended up right up front almost heading merchants row, right next to the Harmony Tribe Headquarter tent where all of the staff was camping. I don't know if Chad knew at the time, but I was instantly a little nervous. I wasn't sure how friendly I could count on them to be since staff folk are typically busy folk. I was fully prepared to put my nose to the grindstone as it were and just have a "business as usual" type experience, but what happened was everything I had hoped for and more. We set up our camping tent by the headlights of the car. The kids slept in the RV. We joined our neighbors fire circle but it had been a long day for them too and by the time our tent was up they had already begun to bail for bed.

Monday morning we set up the merchant booth. It seemed to take most of the day arranging and fixing. I did get to sit in on Lisa Besnett's lecture on invocation/evocation which really seemed to help set the stage and make me "present" for hearing the messages I needed to hear later. I learned my "auditory hallucinations" were a form of divine possession, as was finding my husbands deceased aunt sitting in my living room as though I had invited her for tea. I learned I wasn't crazy, these experiences were completely valid, and in no way does it make me bad, wicked, or weak.

By Monday evening I hurt so bad I could barely stand during the opening ritual. I felt exactly the way I did *before* I began chiropractic work, which was also exactly the way I felt at SHF last year. Every step was agony, making dancing completely out of the question. Last year I wanted so badly to join the dancers but everything hurt, even standing hurt. After opening ritual it's customary to find a place at the heart chakra for drumming and dancing. The dance this year was so celebratory, it made my heart happy. At the same time I felt very sad, and very angry at my body's betrayal because I was unable to join in the celebration. I was asked twice to join the dancing and twice I had to say no. I hurt so badly I cried. A few weeks later, in retrospect, I was glad for the pain. It was a reminder of what I may return to if I ever give up on my course of physical therapy.

Tuesday morning began with Yoga with Shelly. I grabbed a blanket and limped to the heart chakra. I don't know what we did but somehow I managed to pop everything I needed to adjust and I felt almost no pain for the rest of the week!! It was magick. It was Shelly Magick. Shelly became super uber awesome in that instant. Shelly wears a halo-like glow and all manner of fearie and bumble bug sing for her. "AAaaaAAAA"

I attended Lisa Besnett's "Writing contracts as a tool for Invocation" lecture. It was very personally empowering to learn that I could regain contact with these voices but set my boundaries so I don't feel like they are just having a party in my head at my expense. I need to make a point to make time to flesh out a personal contract.

Tuesday's ritual was "pathway to oneness". Initially poised to simply pour water for the fountain, during rehearsal I found myself with an additional speaking part. I was to tell everyone who passed me "Your experience is valid." Plus, I was charged with carving potato stamps. I'll admit now that Chad helped. I was trying too hard to make them too perfect and so he helped before I had them whittled to nothing. Ben, Sheila and myself bonded over makeup. Pictures were taken, somewhere there is proof I can smile. The act of saying "Your experience is valid" out loud to each person was at times a very intimate thing to say. Yes there were a few who I could tell were just going through the motions of public ritual, but I know it also spoke to those who needed to hear it as they had tears in their eyes upon deliverance of the message. Participation in this ritual brought me awareness in several areas (generally speaking); that people need to feel validated, that sometimes that validation needs to come from without before it can come from within, there is a degree of brokenness which I need to be more sensitive to, and finally the reality of how rarely I speak to other people on a level beyond casual conversation because it involves a risk of emotional intimacy, making me appear cold to those who don't know me. So noted. Risk more, worry less.

Wednesday
Es sat in on Todd's discussion on "the science behind magick, and why it works", which really resonated with her. This was a very heavy fact-filled 2 part discussion, offering a very valuable point of view for those who maybe feel floating through life on intuition alone is just a little too "fluffy" for them. Es left with her head hurting from information overload but everything made sense to her. I would love for this to be offered again as I feel the more you are exposed to an idea the more you absorb.

There was a talk with the teens scheduled for the same time as Todd's discussion, so I sat in on Benjamin's talk with the teens on Es' behalf. I was very impressed with the level of communication within the group. Having spoken with Benjamin on numerous occasions since, I feel very good about the direction the teen camp is taking.

Wednesday evenings ritual was a Power Animal Ritual. It was not open to the entire tribe, participants had to have taken the meditation workshop offered earlier in the day. I couldn't guess the number of participants, but all of them danced their way into trance to manifest their power animal in a way that allowed room for how ever that needed to be expressed. It was an amazing transformation to witness. I think in the interest of honesty, I have to admit that I am perhaps a little envious of the ability to let go and become something else. I've realized it's simply not a freedom I currently allow myself. I left the experience in just a little bit of awe, thankful for the exposure, and fully aware it had been an honor to be granted a position as a "tiler".

Thursday
We are really enjoying the ability to sit in on the morning council meetings with our headquarter friends next door. We feel more involved, more informed, and more in tune with the tribe in general as well as the overall festival process. I am really enjoying the time spent with them, they are all so busy running this way and that, each moment shared with a new friend is a treasure.

I attended Lisa Besnett's "Developing a relationship with the Divine" lecture. As well as perhaps what was the last 1/2 of Nicoles "Responsibility in Healing". I wish I had been able to catch all of that. It gave me a lot of food for thought. I managed to pull a chair up to Evelie at 1:30. This talk was not at all what I would have assumed from the guide description. The instrument was her voice. She lead us through vocalizations which were a REAL stretch for me. I don't vocalize. I don't keen. I have never so much as even prayed out loud. Next she lead us through a guided meditation where we were to connect with our ancestors. But I was ready for this!! Lisa's earlier lecture and our short talk afterward had really primed me for some ancestor work. I had an amazing personal experience at which point I decided it was time for a rune reading with Brad.

I then sat in on Pat's discussion "Integrity: Access to Magick". It was through Pat's discussion that I was able to look at some old baggage I've been carrying around with me in a new way. Also she reminded me that you get what you focus on.

Friday
Melanie invited me to belly dance with her small group she was teaching while I waited for Aislinn to come back from wherever she disappeared to. I felt so retarded. My body has hurt for so long it has no muscle memory for rhythmic movement. I still fully expect to hurt when I move and I am surprised when I don't.

I had a massage with Aislinn from 3-4 (or so). I was so wound up going in I honestly didn't think she would get me to relax. About halfway through I totally lost myself and I have absolutely no idea where I went. Lets just say Aislinn magic is absolutely priceless and if you have an opportunity to get some body work done with her *do not pass it up*.

When I was redressed I busied myself with helping in Rangoli set up. I did this year what I couldn't do last year. I danced in the Rangoli ritual!! I didn't get crazy and I certainly didn't dance to exhaustion. I made a few rounds with the girls and that was good enough for me. Jenna lent me her jingles and I danced in some pain-free joy.

Saturday
There was a very relaxed panel discussion with the guest speakers. I was seated too far to the back and had to fight ambient noise to hear, so I only caught snippets.

Saturday's ritual "Plant a Seed"... I was asked to lead everyone from camp to the ritual site and through the labyrinth. I had never walked a labyrinth before. I was expecting it to be a rather straight-forward meditative type walk, but I was completely taken by surprise when I felt a glow of power growing in my stomach less than half way through. It was, quite possibly, the coolest experience ever. My personal take away was that I don't have to water every seed I have just because I have a seed (an idea), but to nurture what I wish to see grow - and honestly I don't think my spiritual garden has ever been as full.

Sunday
Everyone saying goodbye, packing up and going home. Lot's of tears and some last day drama. Of course, we can't wait to do it all again next year. :)

YMMV - Peace and fluffy stuff

Babs